Your face is a jimmy john
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
