is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
