i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
