Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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