I hate all girls vehemently.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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