no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
