the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
