David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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