What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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