I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
