Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
