actually, I'm a sock model
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
