I need help removing her.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Farmville is her only friend.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
