That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
