The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
