Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
