You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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