Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
