But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
