It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
