I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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