well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
