There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
