OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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