You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
