She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Rumble strips road head = magical
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
