Sry I called you an 8
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
