are you still at the devil's house?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
