we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
