Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
