So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
