dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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