Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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