Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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