How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
