i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
