I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
