I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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