But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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