I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
