I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
