its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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