Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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