cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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