Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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