Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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