she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
operation have a gay friend backfired
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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