Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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