You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
