how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
